A while back I talked about how depressing it can get being stuck here all the time with very little adult conversation and no way to take a few minutes each week for myself.  I decided the only way I’m ever going to get out of this slump I’ve been in is to find a way to make time for myself.  Even if it’s just an hour every other Saturday.

One thing I’ve always wanted to do is take guitar lessons.  I play the violin, so I’ve always thought it would be fairly easy for me to learn to play guitar.  My mother-in-law has been taking lessons for a couple years now, so I’ve decided that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  I can schedule lessons once a week in the evening when Ben is home with Ellie giving me time to myself while learn something new.

I talked to Ben about it, and he agrees it’s a good idea.  I need to find a guitar I can afford before I schedule any lessons.  I’ll start with whatever cheap used guitar I can find, but I would eventually like to find a used martin d-16. We’ll just have to see what our budget allows. The lessons are only $25 a week, so I can definitely swing that, and I definitely think it’s worth it.  I honestly can’t wait to get started.  I’m always excited about learning something new, and maybe one day I’ll be good enough to sit around and jam with my father-in-law playing the drums.  Maybe even Ellie will want to take lessons, too, when she gets bigger.

I don’t know why, but I’m in a bit of a bummed out mood tonight.  Maybe it’s because things aren’t exactly going the way I wanted them to be right now.  Maybe it’s because I haven’t gotten to go out and enjoy myself in awhile, and I haven’t really seen what few friends I have in a few months.  What’s more likely is that it’s a combo of all of the above.

As a mom I tend to forget that I need time to get away, too.  I feel very blessed to have family that want to spend time with Ellie during the week, but when she’s away for a few hours I spend most of that time catching up on housework and online work.  Because we only have 1 car right now it’s not like I can use that time to get out for some shopping (or window shopping would be more likely) or to meet up with a girlfriend for lunch.  I feel like that’s going to have to change.  I think every mom needs to get away for a few hours every now and then whether it’s alone or with a friend.  We need that time to clear our heads and do something for ourselves instead of catering to everyone else all the time.  The way I’ve been feeling lately I’m desperately needing a couple hours away.

Maybe I can get up with my BFF soon and schedule a lunch date or something that’s baby and hubby free.  It’s just been really hard to do that since Ben’s working 6 days a week, and she’s usually working on his day off.  He needs the car to get to work, and dropping him off so I can have the car is absolutely out of the question.  I’m not willing to drag Ellie out of bed at 6am to get him to work, and he’s already got a 30 minute commute one day.  I’d be spending 2 hours a day just driving to drop him off and pick him up.  I definitely don’t need to do anything that’s going to make my life more stressful right now.

*Sigh*  It’s already after midnight, but I think I’m going to make myself a cup of hot chocolate and curl up with a book.  I’ve already knocked 3 off my 2012 reading list, and starting a new one might help me relax and feel a little better.

Wow, what a busy weekend/week we’ve had!  I’m so thankful we finally got some time to relax today.  Between Ellie’s birthday party Saturday and my Fleischmann’s party on Sunday I’ve been going non-stop preparing and executing.  Then I spent yesterday making up for the cleaning I’ve neglected to do all week while I was busy with all this other stuff, so I decided today was my be lazy day.

I was lazy for the most of the day with the exception of reorganizing some of Ellie’s toys and cleaning out more to donate.  She’s already got a bedroom and playroom full of toys, and today I noticed there isn’t a room in the house that doesn’t have a pile of toys in the corner.

Because we knew she’d be getting even more toys for her birthday we decided to get her a desk instead.  We got an American Plastics toddler desk that converts into a small easel, and that was good enough for now.  I wanted to get her a larger easel with the chalkboard, but it just wasn’t possible right now.  Ben got laid off again last week, so we needed to keep it cheap.  The toddler desk/easel was under $20, and it’s the perfect size for her even if it is something cheap that will probably fall apart in a year or two.  Then again, it could last forever.  She has a ton of other American Plastics toys that we thought were sure to break within a few months, but she’s had them all for over a year with no problems.  The top of the desk isn’t as great as I’d like, but what can you expect for $20?  It’ll do the job, and she absolutely loves it, especially now that I let her decorate it with stickers this morning!

Cheap is good for me right now, so I’m very happy she’s still young enough to be happy with a cheap toy!  I know one day she’ll be asking for the expensive stuff.  As much as she wants to play with my Eee PC I’m sure one day she’ll be begging for an Eee Tablet, so I’m going to enjoy the years when cheap toys are very acceptable birthday gifts!

My biggest problem right now is figuring out where to put all the big stuff she’s got.  We are definitely running out of room, and cleaning out the toy box doesn’t really help with that.  As far as the big stuff Ellie now has a desk, laundry center, nursery, shopping cart, kitchen, slide, baby stroller, and vanity…all American Plastics toys, and everything but the desk was a present from a grandparent. I’m starting to feel like that company could stay in business thanks to our family alone!

I’ve been working on a new venture lately, and so far it’s going well.  Over the last few months I’ve had a lot of people ask me to make diaper cakes for them because they just don’t have the time or desire to learn to do so.  It’s turned into a nice little side business for me, and I’ve decided to expand to the internet.  I decided to setup a website not because I think I’ll have so many orders coming in I’ll need to invest in a posguys barcode scanner (although it would be nice to have orders pouring in), but because I wanted a place to showcase some of the cakes I have already made.

I’ve been putting pamphlets, and business cards out at a few local businesses, and those have been doing well.  I think having a website that I could include on the material would allow possible customers to see even more of my work when trying to decide if they would like to hire me.  Any online orders would be an added benefit.

The website has been coming together pretty well even though I’ve only got an hour or so at a time to work on it, so I don’t know why I’m feeling so nervous about launching it.  I admit I could have probably launched it a few days ago, but I’ve been procrastinating.  Even though people have been showing interest and I’ve had a few orders I still sometimes feel like people will take a look at the site and think my work is absolute crap.  Maybe it’s because I’m a perfectionist who is always finding at least one thing on each cake I’m not happy with.  Maybe it’s just a normal reaction to launching something new.  Only time will tell how things go, but I feel the cost of the website and a few hours of my time is a small price to pay to possibly expand my little side business into something more.

I’ve seriously got to get it together.  I don’t know what’s been giving me this major case of brain fog lately, but it’s screwing with me big time.  I handle all the finances in our household, and for the second time this month I made a mistake and screwed us up pretty badly for the week.  It’s not like we have money to burn, so I’ve got to stop screwing up.

I was so excited when I deposited more money that I had planned this weekend, and I had enough to pay off a medical bill that’s been getting $20 a month from me until I could afford to pay the whole darn thing.  Even after I deposited the money I went over what I had written down 3 different times to make sure I wasn’t overlooking something.

But I still overlooked something and screwed up.

I totally forgot to write down that my hosting payment now comes out bi-yearly instead of yearly.  I received the email invoice within hours of paying off the medical bill, and it royally screwed us up.  It’s Tuesday night, and we now have $5 left in one account, and $3 in the other.  Ugh.  At least I haven’t touched my change stash in awhile, so I should be able to roll enough money to get us through the week if nothing else pops up.  I’m crossing my fingers and hoping it doesn’t!  As long as I come up with enough to buy diapers tomorrow and fill up the gas tank one more time we should be good.  It just sucks because we’re driving my Dad’s Dodge 2500 this week, too, while Ben is fixing the Blazer, so this week we’re spending twice as much on fuel to fill of that sucker.  Oh well, it’ll all work out in the end.  We’ve got food to eat, and the bills are paid.  That’s what matters, right?
photo credit: shoothead