Oh No

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Crap. I was right. My Grandma does have 2 appointments tomorrow. I was thinking she just had to go to her Ortho, but she’s got her bone density test tomorrow and an appointment about her foot. This could turn out to be a long day for both of us. I’m kind of glad they’re scheduling all her appointments like this though. She’s got at least one a day for the next two weeks, and hopefully they’ll figure out what’s wrong with her. She’s got severe arthritis going on in her knee, and something going on in her heel. She’s going for all the bone tests because both her parents had some type of bone cancer. I just hope she doesn’t have Plantar Fasciitis in her foot because I’ve heard that can be very painful. Oh well, I guess we’ll find out tomorrow about her foot.

Tags: bone density test, bone doctor, feet problems, orthopedic, Plantar Fasciitis

Getting Back Into Shape

Am I gaining weight or did my clothes just suddenly shrink? No, I think I’ve just gained the weight. I’m pulling out stuff this morning that I want to pack for the beach. I pulled out a couple swimsuit cover ups that I normally take with me, but when I put them on neither of them fit. Ugh. My mom would tell me I need an extreme fat burner that can burn off the pounds in a couple days. I think I shall just embrace the fact that I’m almost 27 years old, and my body is changing.

When we get back from the beach I am going to try to get myself back into a decent work out routine. I’ve been very slack, and I haven’t touched my Yoga dvd in a few weeks. I need to set up a specific time everyday to do my Yoga, then I need to get my bicycle back into shape. It needs a new chain and back tire before I can start riding again. The fall is when I love riding it the most though because the air is so crisp and clean. I can ride around my neighborhood checking out the changing leaves, snapping photos, and just enjoying myself. Yeah, I definitely need to get my bike back into shape so I can get myself back into shape.

Anxiety Out Of Nowhere

Out of the blue I had a panic attack this morning, and I don’t know why. It surprised me because I haven’t had a panic attack in awhile. I’ve been doing really well with controlling my anxiety without any medication or anything, and I thought I was doing a lot better. Last summer I don’t know why, but I was almost constantly dealing with anxiety. The fact that I haven’t had any issues lately made this attack hit me by surprise.

One minute I was sitting on the couch watching the news waiting on Hubby to get out of the bathroom so I could take a quick shower. The next minute I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe. It’s the same reaction I used to have when I would take a diet pill. I started getting dizzy and felt really faint. I tried to get off the couch to get Hubby, but I couldn’t make myself. Luckily he came walking through the living room though, and he sat down with me, helped me regulate my breathing and calm myself.

I think what scares me the most is I don’t know what caused it. Almost always my panic attacks are triggered by something. It’s normally the same stuff…being home alone during a bad thunderstorm is a major issue with my anxiety. This time I just don’t know though. One minute I was fine, the next I was having a full attack.

Tags: anxiety attack

So Slack & Still Pissed Off

I feel like I’ve been so slack on all my blogs lately. It’s like I’ve gotten into a funk I just can’t bring myself out of. I’m still posting, but it’s like my heart isn’t in it. It’s not that I don’t love blogging because I do. It gives me an outlet when I feel like I can’t turn to other people.

It’s just that I haven’t felt like doing much at all in general. I’ve been dealing with an ongoing thyroid issue, and the stress of not being able to get my doctor to agree on a treatment has really gotten to me. Of course the fact that I’m waking up in the middle of the night with a lump on my throat doesn’t help either.

Hubby keeps asking me why I’ve been acting so depressed lately. I smile and say “Baby, I’m not depressed”, but he just waits awhile and asks me again. Really, I don’t think I’m depressed. I just think I’m stressed out big time.

Then again how could I not be stressed? I’m not answering my mother’s phone calls again because she keeps bringing up the weight factor. She called while we were on our way to dinner Friday evening and fussed at me when I said I was getting food.

She said something about the fact that she’d just watched me eat at my Grandparent’s house, so why was I eating again if I didn’t want to be fat? OMG…at my Grandparent’s I ate ONE piece of cantelope to hold me over until Hubby got home from work. It was the one thing I’d eaten all day!

What’s next? Is she going to shove weight loss pill reviews in my mailbox? The woman seriously has some issues, and my mother or not, I’ve decided I’ve got to push that out of my life for right now. She needs to deal with her own issues, mental or otherwise, instead of hounding me about issues that don’t even exist.

Do I look like someone seriously overweight?

No! I think I look like a 26 year old healthy woman who is pissed off her mother won’t stop calling her fat! I guess it’s all my fault God gave me huge boobs, right? Trust me, I’d loooove to have a breast reduction!

Tags: depression, health issues, weight issues