This week has been a quiet calm compared to how hectic things were the last couple of weeks.  We actually got to spend Monday and Tuesday evenings at home, and that’s something that we haven’t been able to do in awhile.  Last week we had to do something every single night, so that coupled with the fact that Elliana hasn’t been sleeping well (meaning I’m not sleeping well either) left me very exhausted.

This week is exactly what I needed for a bit of recovery.  I had a bit of a breakdown Monday night around 2am when I was up yet again with the baby.  Over the last month or so she’s had a hard time staying asleep at night.  I start her bedtime routine at 8pm every night, and she’ll finally end up asleep around 10:30, but that’s not the end of it.  She has been waking up every hour needing to eat again until about 3-4am.  It’s almost like she’s not getting enough to eat, so she’s waking up to pile it on until she’s finally full enough to sleep.  Then she’ll sleep until 6 or 7am, wake up to eat, and go back to sleep until 9 or 10am.  Then she takes 3-4 40 min naps each day.

I broke down and called the doctor Tuesday to ask for help.  I described what’s been happening, and she said it sounds like Ellie isn’t getting enough to eat, and I may be losing my milk supply.  The last thing I want to do is to stop breastfeeding, but my child needs to be able to eat.  I let her know she’s eating 2 size 1 jars of baby food a day along with 4tbsp of oatmeal, and she’s breastfeeding with every meal and in between as usual.

She said to try giving her 6-8oz of formula every night for the rest of the week, and see if that changes anything.  Apparently that’s exactly what she needs.  Tuesday night she went right to sleep, and she stayed asleep for 6 hours after the bottle.  Yesterday she woke up bright and early, but she took two 2hr naps and one 1 hr nap.  She went right to sleep after her bottle last night, and she only woke up 1 time during the night.  She took a 2 hr nap this morning.  We visited my Grandma this afternoon, and since my Grandma has one of those walk in tubs we both took a bath there together. She went down straight after that for her next nap, and I’m thinking she’ll stay out for at least an hour.

I don’t want to quit breastfeeding, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that I may not be producing enough for her at night anymore.  If she’s been like this for over a month I feel horrible for not recognizing it as a possible feeding problem.  I’m happy to say I’ve made it to the 6 month mark with breastfeeding, but I may have to start rethinking our feeding plans from this point on.

We’ve got yet another very nice day upon us, and I’m loving every minute of it.  I admit I did stay in bed kind of late this morning.  Elliana woke me up at 9am after keeping me up until 4am again, so I put her in bed with me again, and we watched Disney channel while playing with a few of her toys.  I love laying in bed with her in the mornings just enjoying her.

I’m beginning to notice a pattern with this.  On the mornings I pull her into bed to snuggle and play she stays awake longer before needing a nap.  In turn she sleeps longer during her next nap which gives me more time to get a few things done around the house.  I’m all for that since I’m extremely short for time around here as it is.

She’s in such a good mood today, too.  After we finally found our way out of bed I took her outside for a few minutes.  My grandma was out in the yard between our houses planting flowers, so we visited her for a few minutes before heading inside for food.  Elliana had a ball watching a butterfly that kept landing right next to her, and I had a ball watching her giggle at it.

My grandma said “When I see her in a giggling like this I think it’s a shame she’s going to have to get poked with those shots next week.  I hate when they make her cry.”   That’s when it hit me.  I had totally forgotten about her doctor’s appointment coming up next week.  As much as I hate her having shots, too, I know they’re all for a good cause, and I can’t wait to see how she acts at this appointment.  She’ll be sitting up on that exam table like a big girl showing the doctor everything she’s learned in the last 2 months, and boy is that a lot of stuff. In the last couple of days she’s learned how to pick things up with just a finger and thumb. She’s learned to squeal like a wild little banshee, and she’s started to develop words for certain items. The cat is “goo” while her stuffed Eeyore is “ya ya”.

As I was thinking about how much she’s grown in the last 6 months I can’t help but look back with a huge smile on my face. I’ve made it through my first 6 months of motherhood, and I no longer feel like I’m stumbling down some foreign path. I actually feel like I know what I’m doing, and that’s a huge accomplishment in my book.